When Ted and I first were divorced a little over 3 years ago, my therapist at the time advised me to learn everything and anything I can about being the best version of myself for my family. USE ALL THE TOOLS she would say. FOCUS ON YOU. Welp. A little over 3 years later, I’m finally taking that advice. Focusing on myself lately hasn’t looked like the usual forms of “self-care for moms” you’ll find all over your feed. Instead, self-care for me lately has been learning more about ME. More specifically, my superpower: feeling all the feels.
When it comes to my feelings….I’m pretty sure I do not even need to finish this sentence because you get where I’m going here. I’ve often been referred to as a lot, sensitive, emotional, cries easily, the list goes on and on. From a young age up until now, I’ve thought of these labels as a bad thing, or something I need to change to be a better version of myself. Guess what? Regardless of how sober I am, the number of tools in my toolbox that I use, the amount of sleep I get, or what I’m eating, when it comes to feelings, I’ve just always had an abundance of them.
I’ve been feeling LOTS of feelings lately as the kids have been on their yearly trip with their Dad to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I’ve been quiet so far this summer and I figured now might be a good time to check-in and share some of these feelings. Along with my feelings recap I’ll be sharing random photos so you can see I’m having some of my own fun too!
Sadness. Grieving memories of my time in the U.P. with Ted’s family. THANK THE LORD our entire relationship wasn’t awful [sarcasm]. But really, if there’s one thing you should know about me it’s that I’m a proud Michigander and love everything and anything our state offers. I wasn’t exposed to the U.P. as a kid [city girl here!] and up north to me has always been Traverse City or the Mackinac Bridge. But Ted’s family welcomed me with open arms, “up there,” and I love that my children get to have those same memories for many more years to come.
Anxious. Guys, I think my baseline is just on-edge. Nervous? Anxious? On alert? Over the past few months and really more the last week, I’ve been listening to an Podcast called, “Thrive Like a Parent,” by Dr. Brooke Weinstein. Brooke is a leading parenting expert and therapist that I just so happened to find on Instagram. Guys, this woman is basically giving you insight to my life. My experiences. My FEELINGS.
Let’s just say the knowledge I’m gaining from Brooke is helping ME more than I think it will benefit my children in the future. I’m learning SO much about myself and what I’m feeling- naming feelings, acknowledging my part and what I can control or limit, and really, knowing that I was made this way for a reason- no mistake was made here when God created Katie. But my central nervous system runs a little fast [God knows I lack patience LOL]. So here I am folks! Please keep learning and living with me…
Hungry. I need to be better about my diet. Yep, you heard that right. I might be a registered dietitian nutritionist but my feelings give ZERO F’s about my sugar intake. I would say the first 4 days of the kids vacation I pretty much ate like a college fraternity boy [no beer!- so I guess little nutrition?]. Today I’m craving a juicy hamburger and leafy greens. And some watermelon. Any guesses on what I’ll be eating after this post is done?!
Tired. My mind doesn’t stop. And there’s no medication out there that helps with that. Life is just a balancing act right now. And for some reason I get more exhausted from brain activity then I do with physical activity. I do however know that when I move my body, my brain tends to slow down. Move a muscle, change a thought.
Happy. Ok I realize I’m all over the map here with my feelings. But I want to end on a GREAT note and really let you know I’m OK.
I’m feeling, which means I’m alive. It feels good to say that and to want to live this day. It also feels really good to know my children are loved by many even when they aren’t in Mom’s bed. Believe me. They’ll be fighting over their spots on Wednesday!